


Hogwarts

by CinderSpots



Series: Six Lesbian One Shots [41]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: 3000 words of chaos, Araleyn, Cussing, F/F, Hogwarts, Parrward, clevemour, did it again, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 07:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26847961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinderSpots/pseuds/CinderSpots
Summary: Literally the craziest shit ever
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: Six Lesbian One Shots [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800325
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Hogwarts

Is it a mood that Catherine had no idea what house she would be sorted in due to her disaster of a personality mixing pot?

Yes.

Is she in any mood to be told her personality is a fucking rainbow?

No.

So while she waits in the large group of people that somehow have already split up into cliques, she hums to herself.

Mostly Rhianna, because Rhianna is amazing and you can fight her on that.

Eventually they are allowed into the great hall.

When they enter Catherine's brain goes, 'this isn't a great hall, this is a fucking amazing hall'

The hat, as it turns out is very snarky, and if it was a person Catherine would definitely be interested in being it's friend.

It goes silent when it lands on her head.

"Very difficult, hmm, not Gryffindor, no, not Hufflepuff, can't seem to decide between Slytherin or Ravenclaw, we'll just do mine mo."

Literally what.

That is not how she wants her school experience to be decided.

"SLYTHERIN!"

God fucking dammit.

___________

Anne watches as horror dawns on the girls face when the hat decides to play a children's game to decide what house she's going to.

Anne finds this wildly amusing.

She's humming an Ava Max song, one of many, and apparently she's the only artist Anne's brain can come up with while waiting so Anne just hums the same songs on repeat until someone tells her to shut up.

It doesn't even take a second before the hat shouts -

"SLYTHERIN!"

________________

Jane already knows where she's going to be placed.

It isn't that difficult to decipher with her personality shining through almost constantly.

She watches as the first girl to go up, gets her house through a game. The girl is clearly not happy about the decision or how it's made, but gets up all the same. A few minutes later her cousin walks up and it takes a solid .5 seconds for her to be sent to Slytherin.

Jane hums quietly to herself, she isn't entirely sure where she heard the song, but it's quiet.

When she walks up she sees the hat make a face that says, this is obvious.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

_____________

Anna walks confidently through the crowd.

Even after watching the disaster that was the first girl (who looked like she wanted to throw a fit after being sorted), her best friend, and then someone who she felt like she should know but didn't most likely due to her not really paying attention.

Her confidence doesn't go unnoticed, and she has a feeling of where she'll be going.

Anna doesn't hesitate to bite back when someone tells her to shove off, and she can tell that she's earned the crowd's respect in a matter of minutes.

She walks up to the hat and sits.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

______________

Kat likes to think she's like her older cousin, just a hurricane on legs, but in reality she's like her other older cousin, predictable, safe, and not constantly in danger of dying in a stupid way.

The first girl, who looks relatively scary, is not having a good time, and her hurricane cousin is chatting her up, interest clear in her eyes.

Her nice cousin has already made friends, because it's Hufflepuff and of course she has.

The girl who had just gone, after making some dude curl up in a ball on the floor, is sent to Gryffindor and she doesn't look surprised at all. Neither do the rest of the crowd.

When she walks up, it's a mix of shy and let's get this over with.

The hat has to think for a moment, something in her personality not really matching with the rest. It happened to her safe cousin as well.

It was their temper, they all had it, it's just Anne's matched with her house. It was terrifying to face their tempers, Jane most of all.

After a moment or two of thought the hat reached its decision.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

______________

Cathy was a reader.

She read, she wrote, she never slept, she studied, she aced her exams, she knew where she was going.

And if she didn't she would probably throw a coffee induced fit.

Her older cousin (who never let her forget she was older, by two months, get over it) is immediately screwed over by the hat and Cathy almost laughs at her outraged expression. Then a girl is sorted to the same house and instantly sits by her and chats. Or tries to, she's the only one talking and judging by her cousin's expression she's about to snap that girl in half like a twig.

She's mildly curious when a girl comes later and causes a guy to have a mental breakdown on the floor when he tries to be tough with her.

Then the prettiest girl she's ever seen walks up to the hat, and Cathy almost drops her book staring at her. She's sent to Hufflepuff and Cathy briefly wishes she gets sent there as well.

"RAVENCLAW!"

No luck

_________________

There is a girl sitting by her that doesn't seem to understand what silence means.

She's green eyed, raven haired, and admittedly stunning.

But she's also possibly the most annoying human she's ever met.

Catherine wonders briefly if the girl is flirting with her, but then immediately berates herself for losing focus on the fact that she wouldn't shut up.

She's very aware of the crowd's stares because she had been so royally screwed over.

It doesn't escape her that her cousin is trying not to laugh her ass off.

She's pretending to not realize that the girl sitting next to her is definitely flirting with her, and that she really wants her to keep going because wow she really is beautiful.

Catherine is going to be moody for a long, long time.

________________  
  


Anne is very aware that the girl is losing her patience with her.

But it's just too difficult to stop.

She's so pretty, even when scowling constantly, and Anne can easily see why she's so pissed. She was kind of fucked over by the sorting hat.

Anne continues to flirt with her anyways, and swears that the tiniest of smiles is blooming on her face.

Both of her cousins were sorted into Hufflepuff so she's going to have make friends all on her own.

Shouldn't be too difficult.

The girl sighs, and Anne knows that shit is about to go down if she keeps going.

She keeps going.

_______________

Jane is very happy with where she's placed.

Kat is there with her, and people are actually friendly.

Anne's best friend is talking in Gryffindor, and Jane knows that she has no idea who she is, but still feels like she knows her because occasionally she glances at Jane with a frown.

Jane knows it's not very nice to be laughing, but it's so goddamn funny to watch.

_______________

Anna feels like she's being laughed at.

She occasionally glances over to the girl that she can't quite place.

And everytime she's staring right back at her with a barely contained smile.

She doesn't appreciate the amusement dancing in her eyes.

For fucks sake, who was this woman?

________________

Kat is acutely aware of her cousin making fun of Anne's best friend from across the room.

Kat is also aware of the girl who almost dropped her book when she saw her.

No, she isn't blushing, back off.

________________

  
Cathy gets the feeling that the girl knows what's up and is minorly making fun of her.

Or maybe she's just paranoid.

Maybe it's both.

She is really pretty though.

Cathy can't focus and isn't all too pleased with the revelation.

_______________

It's about a month later that they all properly meet and get to know each other.

Catherine continues to pretend like she doesn't enjoy Anne's attention.

Anne continues to ignore Catherine's annoyance and flirt with her.

Jane continues to laugh at Anna's confusion.

Anna finally realizes who Jane is.

Kat likes Cathy but is insecure.

Cathy likes Kat but is insecure.

It's all fun.

________________

Another month later Parrward is a thing and everyone is over it because they obviously likes each other from the start.

________________

Anna learns she has a crush on Jane.

Jane already knew she liked Anna.

_________________

Anne gives up flirting with Catherine and instead tries to get over her obsession and flirt with other girls. Spoiler it isn't' working.

Catherine is very upset and jealous.

________________

Catherine stalks over to where Anne is currently sitting and taps her shoulder.

Anne looks up and smiles slightly, she'd been in the middle of most likely flirting with the girl next to her and Catherine has decided enough is enough.

"I need to talk to you."

Anne frowns and stands up.

"Okay?"

"In private."

Anne nods and follows Catherine out.

Catherine whips around with a scowl.

"What is this?"

"Um what?"

"You flirt with me for months on end and then suddenly give up?"

"I'm confused."

"You are so oblivious!"

"What?"

"If you had just asked me out I would've said yes, but whatever, go back to flirting with that blonde idiot. Don't mind me."

Then she stormed away.

______________  
  


Anne started out by flirting with her, but ended up talking about how she liked Catherine. The girl was a very good listener, but when Catherine showed up and demanded to talk to her she immediately followed.

Now Anne stared after Catherine as she stormed away.

She liked her back?

Oh my god she liked her back and Anne was letting her walk away.

Anne suddenly darted forward and sprinted after Catherine.

"Wait!"

Catherine momentarily turned but then sped up.

"I want to take you out!" Anne yelled, causing Catherine to stop.

"What?"

"I like you, I just thought you didn't like me back....."

"Have we both been too fucking chicken shit to ask each other out?"

"Apparently."

"That - that is so fucking annoying!"

_______________

Araleyn is still upset that they alluded to crushing on each other and then simultaneously tap danced away for months, but for now they're cuddled in the back of the library 'studying'.

(Human Anatomy if you know what I mean. *wink wink* but not explicitly they have some decorum.)

(some)

Parrward is............somewhere.

And at the moment Jane and Anna are sitting together, both pretending to be reading while staring at each other.

Jane is hilariously the first person to realize that they're doing the same thing, and then promptly stops hiding her staring.

It does exactly what she wants, flusters Anna.

Araleyn appears, flushed, and a visual disaster with a teacher behind them.

Ha, they are in so much trouble.

_______________

"A love potion?"

"No that would wear off and piss Jane off."

"So what are you saying, we should do it like normal people and not use our spells?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to comment that you guys are really cute together with the bickering, but - um - what happened in the Library?"

"None of your business."

"Not your concern."

"So you aren't in detention then?"

"Shut up Cathy."

_______________

It takes some serious behind the scenes work to get Clevemour together.

By the time it's over, Anne and Kat are over it.

(It's worth mentioning that they were the ones who wanted to do it in the first place and dragged Catherine and Cathy along because they would make sure nothing got blown up and were easily convinced to join. Enter Boleyn - Howard charm.)

(a.k.a making out)

Jane realizes that it wouldn't have happened without them and thanks them.

Anna remains oblivious.

_______________

Anne, unsurprisingly is the seeker for quidditch, and Catherine claims that she went to matches before she started dating Anne, and that it's simply a perk to see her girlfriend playing sports.

No one believes her.

(Because it's simply a lie, everyone knows that she likes to drool over Anne. Everyone.)

Anna is a chaser, and seems to constantly get baragged with bludgers because she's clearly the most important player for Gryffindor. Jane, Kat, and Cathy have no interest in Quidditch because they aren't athletic.

(Jane later on reveals that she actually was a player that she was actually healing an old wound. She was the keeper for Hufflepuff, Anna immediately knew she was about to lose when she saw her guarding. She missed the post by at least fifty feet.)

______________

Araleyn disappears when Christmas arrives.

They head to Hogsmeade and then disappear into the woods.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what they're agenda is.

Clevemour heads straight for Honeydukes and comes back bouncing off the walls.

And Parrward goes to Madam Puddifoot's because they're normal people who don't make out in forests or go get sugar high for no reason.

(Maybe they visit Honeydukes briefly for Kat, but shh.)

______________

When Anne gets knocked off her broom during a quidditch match while high in the sky, everyone freaks out.

Anna turns to try and catch her but misses.

Anne is free falling to her death and it's Catherine who has a clear head.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

At the last minute Anne stops before the ground with her eyes closed in fear. Slowly she opens her eyes to see that she didn't go splat on the ground.

Gryffindor is immediately banned from any further matches until the next semester.

Anne looks up at Catherine with a smile when the med team shows up.

"My hero!" She shouts up at her, causing her to flush in embarrassment.

Slytherin earns fifty house points for Catherine's deed.

_______________

Jane is very good at blocking.

Everyone's a little upset about this.

Anne is somehow back on the field even after Catherine begged her to never go back. She's calmly levitating her green eyes flitting across the sky, searching for the fleece. Suddenly she perks up and darts up to chase the tiny golden ball. Hufflepuff's seeker dashes after her.

Hufflepuff unfortunately wins after the seeker swallows the thing, much to everyone's disgust.

But unlike the famed Harry, it goes all the way down and they have to be taken to the med bay to cut it out.

_______________

Cathy does very well in potions.

Everyone watches her before trying, having learned that she knows what she's doing.

Araleyn aren't allowed to be partnered together because it might implode their relationship, so it's Jane and Kat, Anna and Anne, and Catherine's together.

Things are fine until the Anne's blow theirs up and are sent to change.

Jane and Catherine make eye contact from across the room, silently wondering why they chose those people to love.

Then Kat blows theirs up as well.

"Please don't blow this up."

"I won't."

She does.

________________

The Triwizard tournament arrives and no one is particularly excited because things took a very dark turn the last time. It's been some years and they've finally brought it back.

Anne stupidly puts her name in, and Catherine feels like she has to put hers in as well because maybe she'll take Anne's place.

They're doing partners now, because after last time things are going to be secure.

They both get drawn.

__________________

It's a fan fucking tastic disaster.

Catherine and Anne get the fucking worst dragon ever and almost die a couple hundred times, but they eventually get the damned egg.

Anne swims for Catherine and when she gets her to the top she's dragged back down by the siren fuckers. When Catherine wakes up and learns Anne was dragged down because she saved Catherine she immediately dives back in much to everyone's horror. She comes back up with a half dead Anne, and they have to take a break because they almost drowned for each other.

The maze is almost worse; they get separated and end up having to find their way separately. By some miracle they find each other and grab the thing, but naturally things go terribly and it doesn't do anything. When they finally get past magical buffering (yeah, they don't know either) it comes to their attention that one of the Beauxbatons hasn't come back.

Then Catherine runs back in and Anne is held back. They come back hours later looking like they had been put through hell and Anne, who had been in distress the entire time, tackles Catherine and tells her she loves her.

___________________

During the next year, no one almost dies and it's amazing


End file.
